


Death Before Dishonour

by Beach50 (IambicKentameter)



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Almost Dub Con, Alternate Universe - Historical, F/M, Kid Fic, Roman AU, Spartan AU, Spartan Warrior!Jace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 05:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7877968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IambicKentameter/pseuds/Beach50
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In ancient Sparta it is a wife's job to tend the fields, keep the house, and bear 5 sons. Clary's father arranges for her to get married to one of the many soldiers in Sparta, and they go through out their lives and rituals around one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This isn't really a full blown story. It's mostly fluff and drabbles, but they are all based off this chapter.
> 
> This is the gist of what my history teacher said Spartan marriage was like, so this is not made up. He only gave a basic description, which means I had to fill in a few parts. So this isn't perfect, but I definitely like it.
> 
> Please enjoy!
> 
> Jace: 26
> 
> Clary: 21

The first snap of the scissors made me wince. I have never cut my hair before, but now it's time for my wedding night. Well if I get pregnant, it's my wedding night. If I got pregnant it was my duty to bear at least five sons. Spartan women are known for fertility and short skirts, but those things created a high death rate. A lot of women died from child birth, hoping that I won't be one of those women. I loved my hair. More hair fell down from my head, making me sigh in disappointment. It was weird to think this was actually happening.

 

"I remember my night." Izzy, my bridesmaid, spoke from above me. "I had no idea who he was, but he was gentle and kind." She breathed, as she cut more hair.

 

"You've told me this." I smiled faintly at her memory, knowing that she truly loved her husband. That was rare. We were partners yes, but they almost never developed feelings. Why would we? We barely see each other. My mate is 26 so he's still going to be in the barracks for another 4 years and even longer if he doesn't want to move.

 

"Think of the positive." She smiled, ruffling her fingers through my now short hair. I looked in the mirror, feeling weird about having a man's haircut. I know its tradition, but I really like my long hair. The weight of my head felt funny now, which was annoying.

 

"What positive? I was doing fine tending my father's lands and running things around here. Now I have to wait around hoping I get pregnant, and then move to his land." I blew out an annoyed breath, playing with my fingers. I guess didn't want things to change. Sure, I don't really need to answer to anyone still, but I have to move change my routine, I have to deal with being pregnant, and I have to raise a kid when it's born.

 

"At least you've met him. I mean. It's Jace." She smiled, dusting off my shoulders.

 

"I hardly know Jace. I've met him once for 10 minutes." I rolled my eyes.

 

"He's handsome." She hummed, trying to cheer me up.

 

"It wouldn't matter if he was handsome or not we will be in the dark. I won't be able to see him." I scoffed, still trying to be negative about the situation.

 

I met him once in the markets. I was strong woman, like all Spartan women, but there were some things I just couldn't carry. I dropped an entire load of my groceries, and he offered to help. I won't lie and say he wasn't handsome. He looked like a statue of Apollo, which means he is fit, golden, and graceful. This happened two weeks ago, and now I'm going to marry him. I should have been more careful about who I talk to.

 

"You'll be fine." She gestured for me to stand up.

 

"I know." I took a deep breath, getting to my feet. She helped me out of my clothes, and into some men's clothes. I knew everything would be ok, but sometimes it felt good to complain. Worse comes to worse, I don't get pregnant, and I'm not married. I honestly couldn't care less. Now getting pregnant now would save me from having to do this again, which would be humiliating. I have 4 years until I have to live with him, which means he should only drop by every once and a while to knock me up.

 

"I think you're ready." Izzy clapped, walking to the candles. "I'll blow these out and leave." She murmured. I sat on the bed, pushing myself back against the pillows.

 

I exhaled a breath, slipping under the covers. I have no idea when Jace is supposed to come at some point tonight. He has to sneak away from the barracks, which means he has to wait until most of the men are asleep. They said that the waiting made it more passionate, but really it just made me anxious. I had this weird pit of nerves in the bottom of my stomach, which was extremely unpleasant. The longer I laid there in the dark, the sleeper I got. I heaved a sigh, rolling onto my back to stare up at the black ceiling. Could I close my eyes? Am I allowed to fall asleep? I couldn't stop my eyes from slipping shut, and I knew they wouldn't open for a little while.

 

OoOoO

 

I stirred awake when I heard the hinges groan open. I rubbed my eyes, seeing that it was still dark outside. I turned my eyes to the door only seeing a male figure walk in. "Jace?" I yawned, sitting up. He nodded, pulling off his shirt, as he crawled over me. My heart started pounding in my chest, realizing that was happening now. I mean I knew this was coming, but he's here now, in bed with me.

 

"You fell asleep." His breathed washed over my face, running his fingers along my cheeks.

 

"It was late, and I didn't know when you were-" He cut me off with a swift kiss that was so tender I felt like I was melting beneath him. I wound my arms around his neck, wanting more of his mouth on mine. I've never been this close to a man, and I wish I could just see him. Is that weird that I want to see? Why does tradition say the room has to be dark? He drew away, shifting under the covers with me, his weight still on me. I soothed my hands along his torso, feeling the strong muscles coiled under his skin. I felt his hands under my shirt, making my stomach quiver.

 

OoOoO

 

I exhaled a breath, laying on my back, as Jace lite a candle so he could see. The sun was beginning to rise, and we had been joined together most of the night. No one ever talked about how that would feel so exhilarating and good. He stood up, pulling his pants on, while I remained in bed watching. I really hope that I get pregnant because I really enjoyed that, and I don't know why, but the idea of doing it with someone else seemed weird.

 

"Are you sure you have to go now?" I asked quietly, looking up at him. Secretly wanting to keep him in bed all day tomorrow too, but I knew he probably couldn't.

 

"I've been here late enough as it is." He turned around, as he shrugged his shirt on. His eyes glazed over my body, making my heart skip a beat. I just realized that this is the first time he's seen me naked despite the activities we were just a part of. I didn't really feel ashamed, but it was strange. I sighed, resting my head against the pillow.

 

"Let me know if you get pregnant." He kissed my forehead, before heading out the door. I covered myself with blanket, suddenly feeling cold.

 

OoOoO

 

Three weeks had gone by, and I determined I was with child. Luckily. I had been waiting until I saw him in the market to say something because women aren't allowed in the men's barracks, so I had to wait to run into him. To be honest I'm glad I'm pregnant because I only have to go through that wedding night once now, and I can move on from it to become a mother. My hair had hardly grown back, which was a little disappointing, but it'll grow back. Soon I hope. I saw a flash of gold in the crowd, and I hurried towards it. When I saw him again, I saw him in a new light. His features were more handsome somehow.

 

"Jace!" I called out him, making him turn his head. He stopped in his tracks, letting me finally reach him.

 

"Clary." He nodded respectfully, gazing down at me.

 

"Come with me." I took his hand, leading us around one of the nearby builds to be alone.

 

"Is everything ok?" He questioned, cupping my cheek to bring my eyes to his.

 

"I just wanted to let you know I'm with child." I spread my hand over my lower abdomen, looking up at him under my lashes.

 

"You are?" A bright smile broke out on his face, as his hand went over mine, making my stomach churn. "That's great news." He breathed.

 

"Yeah." I murmured, admiring the sight of him. "I was wondering..." I cleared my throat, knowing that this would happen eventually. "When you wanted me to move onto your families land?"

 

"My land hasn't been tended too since my parents died when I was 10, so you can wait until after the baby or even when I decided to move out of the barracks if you want." He dropped his hand, making me realize how close together we were standing.

 

"Ok." I agreed. "You should stop by tonight." I paused, feeling my cheeks flush slightly.

 

"Why you're already with child?" His hand came to my cheek again, cupping it gently, as his thumb stroked the soft skin of my face.

 

"I was thinking it would be nice to see you again." I suggested, trying to ask him to come over without being extremely blunt about it.

 

"Oh." The movement of his thumb stalled. "If you wish me to come by, all you have to do is ask." He stated kindly, pecking my cheek. "I'll be there, but I don't know when. Leave a candle burning." He smiled faintly, before disappearing into the crowds. I placed my hand on my stomach once again, as I walked back down the streets to my home, knowing there were a lot of chores I needed to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is my next little drabble. It's right after the baby.
> 
> Someone asked why their wedding ceremony was like that, and it's because they didn't really want the two spouses to have a romantic relationship. I'm not saying they didn't happen, but in Sparta for the most part sex was purely to create more Spartans. They didn't want the males to see the females as romantic partners, which is why they cut their hair and dressed them as men. So in this story, yeah it's clace, but they are more of friends with benefits most of the time.
> 
> This society was just weird. I love it.
> 
> I hope you enjoy my next chapter.
> 
> Jace: 27
> 
> Clary: 22

I was sitting on the wagon next to Jace, as we approached his parents land. I just recovered from the birth of my first born son, who was a fat healthy baby. Since he was fat baby, it took me a month to heal. I knew his parents had passed away a while go, but this place was completely run down. There were cobwebs everywhere, visible holes in the walls, and wood hanging from the patio roof. I sighed in annoyance, hopping off the cart when we stopped. The baby was tied by a cloth to my torso and was sleeping peacefully, which I was easy to carry and comfortable.

 

"Seriously?" I huffed, stepping up onto the rundown patio. The floorboards creaked underneath me, begging me to get off.

 

"I told you. No one has been here in 16 years." He stepped next to me. "How long do you think it will take you to repair?" He asked, scanning over the place.

 

"A couple months." I walked carefully into the home, seeing that it wasn't much better.

 

"I guess I'll start with my room." I glanced around, trying to find the room. "That way the baby and me have a safe place to sleep." I mumbled to myself, knowing that this didn't affect Jace in the slightest.

 

"I can help for today, but I won't have another day off for a few weeks." Jace informed me, stepping next to me.

 

"Thank you. Let's try to get this room done." I walked back outside, and grabbed the crib I brought with us. I set it up just outside the rickety patio, so little Stephen would be safe. I don't trust this floor at all. I wrapped his blanket around him, as his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful. His little blonde wisp were curled against his forehead with adorably red cheeks. "I want you to fix the roof above the room. Keep an eye on this one." I smiled at our son before I went and grabbed wood from the wagon. I dragged it inside, dropping it on the floor, so I could get to work.

 

OoOoO

 

The sun was beginning to go down, and the bedroom was finally safe to sleep in. I had to rip of the floor and better support the walls. I sat down on the wobbly chair, holding my babe's head to my bosom. He's a hungry little fellow. Luckily, he slept most of the day, so I didn't have to take a bunch of feeding breaks. I stroked his hair, as I watched my son. If I didn't know any better I would say he wasn't mine, he looks almost exactly like Jace. He entered the room, and sat down at the table near me, dripping in sweat.

 

"Finally you're done with the roof." I glanced up at him, seeing his eyes on me.

 

"No thank you?" He scoffed, running his fingers through his locks.

 

"Why would I thank you? This is your house." I rolled my eyes.

 

"Very true." He shrugged, taking a deep breath. "Do you want me to stay tonight?" He asked, getting up to place his hands on the back of my chair.

 

"No, I can't pregnant before I'm done fixing this place." I explained, looking up at him. It would be nice if he stayed, but it wouldn't be worth it. I need some time to get myself in balance again.

 

"Ok, I'll be on my way." He leaned, pressing his lips to my forehead gently. He crouched down, stroking the baby's head. "Be strong, little one." He kissed Stephen's head lightly, before heading towards the door. I smiled faintly at his sentiment. Not many men really cared about their babies, but Jace was definitely fond of Stephen. I climbed to my feet, pulling my gown back over my exposed breast, as I wanted my little one to his crib. I exhaled a tired breath, looking over the fixed room. It seemed empty.

 

Then I realized I am all alone in a strange house.

 

I sniffled in a breath, feeling home sick. I knew this had to be done, but it doesn't mean it feel right. It feels wrong. I feel like I shouldn't be here. I pulled on some of my locks, wishing it was longer, wishing I felt a little bit like my old self, but I guess that girl is gone. So much has changed in these past few months. It's hard to believe I'm still me. I'm a mother, a wife, and a land owner. It's like I grew up overnight.

 

My heart ached for my mother. She died a few years ago, but I want to have her advice. I want to know how she did this my father. He definitely isn't an easy man to deal with. At home I had my father, someone who was familiar, but here I'm on my own. I sat down on my bed, running my fingers through my hair. I felt my face get hot with tears. I wiped my eyes, shaking my head. This is no reason to cry. Everyone goes through this. Everything is going to be fine.

 

Stephen started crying from across the room, causing me get up. I lifted him from his crib, and he cooed against me. He reached his stubby little hands, touching my face. I smiled at him, feeling my worries fade, as I tucked him against me. He was the only good thing that came out of this. My beautiful little boy. I beamed down at him, feeling more tears fall down my cheek. I sat down on the bed, feeling myself really cry for the first time since I gave birth. I choked on my breath, rocking back and forward slowly, trying to calm not only myself nut the little one. I didn't even fully understand why I was crying, but it felt good.

 

OoOoO

 

2 months later

 

The house had been completely renovated, and Izzy came over to help me with the fields. I was a couple weeks away from almost completing my work. Stephen was strapped to my back, as I dug the plow into the ground, pulling up the weeds that had grown there. The soil here is extremely fertile, but annoying to get to.

 

"The house is looking good." Izzy complimented, leaning against her plow to catch her breath.

 

"Thanks." I panted, still pulling on the land. I want to get this done.

 

"When was the last time Jace was around?" She asked curiously.

 

"Since I moved in. I told him that I wasn't getting pregnant before I was done fixing everything." I scoffed, standing up straight. He isn't putting a baby in me while I'm doing dealing with this house.

 

"That's probably a good idea." She shrugged, beginning to pull on the weeds again.

 

"Yeah." I nodded, continuing to work.

 

OoOoO

 

The sun was down, the baby was fed, and my day was finally over. I poured water into a large bowl on my dresser. I gathered the water in my hands, bringing it to my face. I sighed in relief, knowing I was in major need for a bath. The water against my skin made me feel so refreshed. I don't have a tub, but I have a sponge. I slipped the straps off of my gown off my shoulders, letting it gather around my hips. I dripped the sponge in the water, scrubbing the grime off my shoulders. The water felt cool against my hot skin, easing the burning sensation in my muscles. I closed my eyes, rolling it over my chest, which was covered in dried sweat. It felt so good to finally clean myself. I flinched heavily, when a hand was placed over mine and a body pressed against my back. My eyes flew open, and I looked quickly behind me.

 

"Jace." I sighed in relief, dropping my head back against his ridged torso. "You scared the crap of me." I punched his thigh in frustration, making him chuckle.

 

"Sorry, I was going to say something, but you were half naked." His lips moved against my neck, making me inhale a sharp breath.

 

"I told you not until after I'm done fixing the place up." I murmured, as our joined hands moved along my lower stomach.

 

"I know." He breathed, taking my earlobe in his mouth. I bit back a moan, squeezing the sponge tighter. Water drizzled down my stomach, making me quiver.

 

"Jace, you can stay the night if you want, but no sex." I fought to keep my composure. I needed to put my foot down. I already told him that he had to wait.

 

"Sex doesn't necessarily have to end with a baby." His voice was rough, as he held me tighter against him. I whimpered, closing my eyes to try to be impartial. If I get pregnant now, I would have to lessen my work load, which will put a halt in my work.

 

"It doesn't." I murmured, turning my head to look up at him. He nodded, sliding his mouth along my jaw.

 

"If you don't make this worth my time, you're not getting any until after harvest." I murmured, as I pushed the rest of my gown off of my hips. I moved away from him, laying back on my bed with legs spread wide. He smiled wicked, as he dropped his toga.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hoped you guys liked it. This was a situation that I thought might have been common in this day in age. Women controlled the household because all the men were soldiers. The women did most of the work just about everywhere, which I think is interesting.
> 
> What did you think?
> 
> Next chapter I can either do around when Clary gave birth or when Jace moves into the house. Which one do you guys want?
> 
> Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I had a boring weekend, and this was the result. I really love this story. It's so interesting.
> 
> I ended up picking when Clary gives birth. I feel like I need to warn people that this chapter is more iffy because Clary does lose the child. If that is something that is a trigger for you or it upsets you, please be careful about reading it. I have never experienced this so I tried my best to represent this. It doesn't go into too much detail I think.
> 
> Please enjoy!
> 
> Jace: 29
> 
> Clary: 24

Pain shot through my lower abdomen, causing me to nearly collapse in the market. It's too early. This shouldn't be happening yet. I winced, holding onto my large stomach, as I glanced around for my oldest boy. "Stephen!" I yelled at my son, who had wandered over to a merchant's booth. He was almost three and he had the tendency to walk away. Before William came around I would carry him everywhere, but I don't have enough hands for a one year old, a toddler, and the supplies I bought in the market.

 

"Yes, mommy?" Stephen rocked back and forward in front of me, looking at me with his big dough eyes.

 

"You need to help mommy get to Magnus' house ok." I took his small hand in mine, feeling more contractions coming from my big pregnant belly.

 

"Ok." He nodded quickly, weaving through the crowd with our hands clasped together. I felt my water break all over my legs, and I stopped in my tracks. I know I have given birth two other times, but this was traumatizing. It's two months too early, and I am in labor now. This is the worst thing that could ever happen. "Mommy? Is everything ok?" Stephen's little voice asked, bringing me back momentarily to where I am.

 

"No." I shook my head, feeling a few tears spill down my cheeks. I pushed myself to keep walking, but the weight of the baby on my back and another in the front I was starting to drag down. I started to feel myself fall, when I was braced by someone.

 

"Ma'am is everything all right here?" One of the nearby soldiers asked from beside me.

 

"I just went into labor. I need to get somewhere where I can deliver." I sniffled, wiping my face off. I couldn't cry in public. It would be considered weak. We are known for being strong. Crying is unacceptable.

 

"Magnus isn't too far from here." He assured me, untying William from my back. "I'll carry him." He said softly, holding his free arm out for me to hold. I struggled to walk, as we made our way down the road. A few minutes later, I was lying in a bed in Magnus home. William was placed in a crib, and Stephen was playing with some toys in the other room.

 

"Clary, take deep breaths sweetheart." He laid a cool cloth over my forehead, encouraging me to calm down.

 

"It's too soon. It hasn't had enough time to grow." I continued to sob, knowing I would lose this one. I just spent the past few months getting to know it.

 

"I'm sure everything will be fine." He cooed, scrambling around his medicine cabinet. "Here's what you need. Chew on this for a minute it should help with the pain." He handed me a piece of an old root, looking at me sympathetically. "I've called one of the officials to come by." Magnus murmured, as he went to check my cervix. I flinched at his touch, shivering from his cold fingers. I starred up at the ceiling, feeling a hallow pit form in my heart. I can't lose this baby. "Ok, biscuit, you're moving along nicely. You can't push quite yet, but you're getting there." He stood back up, taking the root from my mouth. I inhaled a sharp breath, feeling another contraction rip through me. I sat up, wanting it to stop. I felt like leaning upwards would help me breath, but it didn't. Holding myself up was beginning to be too exhausting, so I dropped back against the bed, forcing back even more tears.

 

A little while later, it was time for me to stop pushing. I screamed, as I pressed the baby out of me. I gaped for breath, leaning upwards to put more force into it. It definitely was easier than the first time. I panted heavily, trying to catch my breath. Breathing is important. I collapsed in relief, hearing the baby's cries enter the room. I refused to look at the baby until I knew what the official was going to say.

 

"She's too small and weak. I'll take her for exposure." The official said quietly.

 

"She?" My voice cracked, as I looked over at the baby. She was so small and pink. Her little hairs were a strawberry blonde. "Can I at least hold her?" I felt my lip quiver, as I pushed myself up slightly. If I could just hold her this once…

 

"No." The official turned around, heading out the door with my daughter.

 

"What?" I choked on my breath, feeling overwhelmed from losing my baby seconds after I deliver her. I carried her for 7 months, and now she's gone. I would have named her Adrienne, having a little girl would have been so amazing. She would have stayed with me as we grew up, and I could have taught her everything I know. I choked on my tears, pulling my legs to my chest. It hurt to be in this position, but I could care less. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest by this little person that I never got the chance to meet.

 

OoOoO

 

1 month later

 

I've been lying in my bed for the past month, unable to bring myself to move. I knew I needed to get up, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I missed Adrienne in my belly. It was probably a bad idea to name her in my mind. It keeps me attached to her. She was almost always calm and only slid her limbs around my belly without disturbing my work or sleep. I heard the door to my bedroom open, but I keep my eyes locked on the wall I had been facing.

 

"Why have my sons been at the town's doctors for the past few weeks?" Jace's voice entered the room, making my look up. I lay back down, snuggling back under the blanket. The bed shifted beneath me, as Jace lay down behind me. "What happened?" He stroked my hair, wrapping his arm around my stomach.

 

"They took my baby." I whispered, biting my lip.

 

"It was unhealthy. Why would we want that?" His voice was harsh, breaking the last part of me.

 

"We?" I yelled, pushing him off of me. "You weren't even there. I carried her for 7 months. I knew her. She was a part of me, and she survived labor! I didn't even get to hold her." I sat up, kicking him away from me.

 

"We can have another baby." He snorted, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

 

"There you go saying we again! All you do is provide me with your semen. They are my kids." I snapped, forcing myself to stand up. He scoffed, climbing on his feet, as he crossed his arms. "I carried them, I birthed them, and I take care of them. I work the fields, I harvest the land, and I go to the market. I do everything! Is it a crime that I wanted to hold my daughter for one minute before she was taken away from me?" I screamed at him. I was fuming with anger, not knowing how to respond.

 

"We can have another baby!" He countered loudly, yanking me against him.

 

"Get off of me." I snarled, struggling against his arm.

 

"No. This is your duty. Give Sparta five healthy sons. Not a sickly daughter. It was your honor to send her to the wild because she would not have made it!" He explained loudly and forcefully. I pursed my lips, refusing to look up at him, as he glared down at me. "Do you understand me?" He hissed in my ear, still squeezing my arm. I nodded silently, as he released me. I slapped him across the face for the way he was treating me, and he stood with his head slung to the side. He had no right to speak to me like that. He straightened himself out, grimacing down at me. "Do you want to be pregnant again? I can make you pregnant right now." He stood above me, breathing down my neck.

 

"Jace." I closed my eyes, feeling like it was more of a threat. I've never actually seen him angry, and it terrified me. I didn't know what he was capable of.

 

"What? This is what you want, isn't it?" He dragged my chin up violently upwards, so I would look at him.

 

"I- just- leave. I'll get the boys the tomorrow. Get out." I shoved him away from me, trying to get some space between us.

 

"Fine." He rolled his eyes, heading towards the door.

 

"Come by in few days." I murmured quietly, as he left. He paused in the door way and nodded, before leaving the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? Exposing a child to the wild if they were weak was a very common thing because they only wanted the strongest children.
> 
> The next chapter will be Jace moving in probably. That should be interesting. I know Jace was kind of a dick in this, but this is probably how these people would have reacted to this situation. They were all warriors, and behaving that way would be considered weak.
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought?
> 
> Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the last chapter was pretty harsh I thought you guys might want some happy Clace moments. This is before she loses her baby. As I said in the beginning this is mostly fluff and drabbles it doesn't follow a specific story line, but it does follow a society.
> 
> I know Jace was a jerk in the last chapter, but Clary had stopped taking care of her children, which was her job in this society. The way Jace behaved was probably a lot more reasonable then it should have been. Also he does care about her, which you will see in this. He just doesn't always show it because marriage wasn't a romantic relationship it was more of a business decision. As I said they are more like friends with benefits.
> 
> Please enjoy this very fluffy little chapter
> 
> Jace: 27
> 
> Clary: 22

 

I was curled against his side, resting my chin on his chest. This is the first time since I renovated the house that we were together completely. It had taken me 4 months to fix everything, and I was very proud of my work. This place was no longer a rickety hovel, but a decent home, where I could raise my kids in peace. Jace and I had discussed that it would be nice for him to come at least once a week until I'm pregnant again, which hopefully shouldn't take too long, and then I could send him messages to come by as I wished. It was frustrating living without him here. It's really hard to work in the field and worry about Stephen. Jace's fingers lazily stroked through my hair, making me hum in approval. None of those things really matter right now because he's with me now. He leaned down to brush our lips together slowly. It was a lazy, sleepy kiss, but it was so relaxing to just be with each other like this. He drew away, nudging his nose against mine.

 

"How is Stephen doing?" Jace's soft voice entered the silence.

 

"Good." I murmured, tracing patterns on his skin with my fingers.

 

"Good." He breathed, lying back down on his back. "I can't stay much longer." He sighed, slipping his hand in mine.

 

"I know." I squeezed his hand lightly, a gesture of understanding. Jace slid out of bed, and started putting on his gear. I glanced out the window, seeing that it was almost time. I wrapped the blanket around myself, making my way to the front porch. I sat on the rocking chair, watching the pinks and oranges overcome the night sky. Whenever Jace comes to me at night, I always stay up until I see the sunrise. He's leaving an hour or two later than normal so the sun is arriving now. The air was cool and filled with fog. I inhaled a deep breath, filling my lungs fill with the clean air. Could this morning get any better?

 

"Ok, I'll see you next week?" He suggested, kissing my forehead.

 

"Can you stay to watch the sunrise with me?" I asked, as his foot hit the ground to leave.

 

"Clary, I'm already late. I should really go." He pursed his lips, thinking about what he should do.

 

"If you're already late then being even later won't make that much of a difference." I pulled my knees to my chest, resting my cheek on them. He stepped back up on the patio, agreeing to stay a few minutes longer, and sat in the chair next to me. I forced back a smile, as I looked back at the rising sun. The entire sky had been enveloped in warm colors, making my insides feel fuzzy. We sat in a comfortable silence, and for some reason this is the closest I have ever felt to Jace. I sighed contently, letting the sun heat my mostly bare skin. The sun was completely over the horizon, and I knew it was time for him to leave.

 

"I'll be back next week." He murmured, as he crouched down in front of me.

 

"Ok." I whispered, letting our noses touch just one more time before he left.

 

"Be safe." He leaned in to brush our lips together tenderly, as his hand cupped my cheek. The kiss was so gentle I didn't want it to stop. My mouth followed his, as he drew away from me, until I couldn't reach him anymore. His thumb stroked my cheek lightly, before it fell away from my face, leaving it cold. I rested my chin back on knees, watching him disappear over the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is definitely a much happier moment. I know it was short, but I think it was so prefect. The next chapter will definitely be when Jace moves in with her, which should be interesting. I haven't really planned it out yet, but I will try to get it written by next week. No promises, I have three exams in the next three days, an essay, and an art project.
> 
> If you guys have any situation you want me to write in this time period, please leave a review! I'm about out of my own ideas, which means that I won't be able to add more chapters.
> 
> Any of you who are reading living in the margins, I'm still working on that. I had to figure out how to phrase a particular part, and I figured it out today. So hopefully that will go up within the next few days.
> 
> What did you guys think of this chapter?
> 
> Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I really like how this chapter. I planned this a lot differently then it ended. I originally wanted it to end with them still kind of mad at each other, but that didn't happen. I really like how this happened. I hope you guy like it too
> 
> Jace: 30
> 
> Clary: 25

William screamed, as Stephen chased him around the house. I puffed a breath, blowing my hair away from my eyes. Things had gotten messy around the house, so I had to clean it before Jace got here. My stomach was in knots. Jace has only been here at night to screw around with me, so I didn't know how living together would turn out.

 

"What's going on here?" Jace's voice entered the house.

 

"I just-" I paused, realizing he was charging playfully towards the boys. I smiled faintly at him, as he picked the kids up. He growled teasingly, running around the room with one kid tucked under his right arm and the other slung over his other shoulder. The boys squealed with laughter yelling daddy. My attention was drawn away from them, as I heard my 10 month old fuss in the other room. I walked into my bedroom, lifting John from his crib. It was getting more difficult to hold him, as I entered my third trimester of pregnancy. I've done it twice before, so I can do it more. I don't remember the last time I didn't have a baby on my hip. These past few years have felt so long, yet short at the same time. I adjusted John on my side, walking out of the master bedroom. Jace was now on the ground, letting the boys wrestle him into oblivion.

 

I shook my head, sitting down in my rocker. John was the shyest of the boys. His head was buried in my neck most of the time, which made my heart melt. William and Stephen pretty much walked out the womb, and I had to always chase them down. John is nice and calm. It's refreshing to have a little one that wants to cling to me at all times. It also helps that his hair is a smig red. He feels more like mine. I love my other sons with all my heart, but they can be difficult and high energy. John is so relaxed all the time, which is amazing.

 

Jace finally got up after a couple minutes, plopping down in a chair next to me. The boys were still running around with one another. Sometimes this place feels like a mad house. My attention was broken from my crazy sons, when Jace's hand stroked John's head lightly. A grin broke out across my face, making my chest fill out with warmth. Jace was around for the other boys, but he didn't really do anything like this. He held him when he had to, he put them to bed when he was here, but he never just touched them. John turned his little head around, peering at his father shyly. His chubby hand lifted up and fell on his father's hand. I couldn't contain myself right now. Jace and I have been on rocky ground for about a year since I lost Adrienne, but this is the first time I really enjoyed his company. He grinned softly at the boy before turn his eyes to mine.

 

"The fields need to be plowed." I murmured softly, remembering what happened, the reason that I have been so distant the past couple of years.

 

"Ok." He murmured, seeming slightly hurt by my words. He pushed himself up and out of the seat. I felt a pang in my heart, knowing he really didn't need to do it now.

 

"Thank you." I said after him, trying to show him that I wasn't a horrible person. He nodded respectfully, as he walked back out of the door. I feel like things between us have been stiff for a long time, and I don't know how to get out of this rut with him. He's just treats me so poorly sometimes. It's hard to put that behind me so easily. I sighed, rocking my chair back and forward.

 

OoOoO

 

Dinner was eaten, the two toddlers were asleep, leaving Jace and I sitting by the fire. John was propped up in my arms, so he could eat. I moved my rocking chair slowly, which made a quiet creaking noise that I found to be soothing. I stroked John's head, feeling the softness of his baby hair. I love this boy so much.

 

"Clary?" His voice broke the tense silence that had been surrounding us.

 

"Yes?" I breathed, keeping my focus on John.

 

"Ou-" He paused, adjusting awkwardly in his seat. "Your sons are wonderful." He cleared his throat, rubbing his neck.

 

"Thank you." I looked up at him, fixing my shirt, as John finished. John yawned powerfully, making me grin faintly. "You are good with them. It's harder for me to run house with them when I'm working the field all day. Now they can have someone with them all the time." I circled my thumb along the soft skin of John's arm.

 

"Yeah." He breathed, turning his eyes back to the fire.

 

I opened my mouth, wanting to say something else, but I held myself back. Why should I let him do what I'm thinking? How has he earned that privilege?

 

"I'm glad to be here with them. The few times I saw them didn't come close to how wonderful today has been for me." He spoke with a calm voice, assuring me that he loves his sons.

 

"Um- do you want to hold him?" I asked kind of uncomfortably. He's earned this. He's earned holding our baby boy. He has done everything I've asked of him, even though he didn't necessarily want to do it.

 

"No, it's ok." He shook his head, seeming skeptical about it.

 

"Come on. He's almost asleep and he's really easy." I stood up and stopped in front of him. "Here." I laid John gently in his lap, seeing his hands immediately go to the tiny form that snuggled against him. John spread his limbs out, pressing the front of his body to his father. His head burrowed against him, begging to be held closer. Jace's hands came around, securing him in comfortable position. "See, nice and easy." I carefully sat down in my chair, feeling off balanced from my big tummy.

 

"Yeah." A smile broke out across his face. I knew it was the right thing to do, even if I was weary about it to begin with.

 

"That night when I said they were mine. I want to apologize. Honestly, they look more like you then me. I didn't think you even really liked dealing with them after I lost her. You just didn't care, and she broke my heart." I breathed, feeling tears well up in my eyes. It hurts to think about her. She was too early. If only she made it to full term. He gave me an understanding look, before turning his focus back to our son. For the first time since I've been here, I haven't been holding a baby until late in the night. I went to get up, but Jace looked over at me with hurt eyes. "What?" I questioned softly.

 

"I cared that you lost her. I know it didn't come out that way, but I was angry because you pawned our sons off on someone who might as well be a stranger." He murmured, locking his eyes with mine. "I'm sorry about how I reacted. Is this why you've been so stand offish?" He pursed his lips, clinching his jaw.

 

"That on top of other things." I shrugged, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

 

"Like what?" He glanced down at the baby in his arms, who moved slightly.

 

"The last few years you've just come for the sex, or at least it seemed that way. In the beginning it felt so passionate and thoughtful, and now it's just you pounding into me. Then you leave." I whispered, hearing the crack in my voice.

 

"I'm sorry about that. I'll put him to bed, and meet you in the room." He stood up, adjusting John in his arms.

 

"Thank you." I breathed. I pushed myself up, and made my way into my bedroom. I laid down in bed, curling under the covers. Jace crawled in bed a few minutes later, curling up behind me. I closed my eyes, exhaling a long breath. He turned me around gently, cupping my cheek lightly, as he brushed out lips together just barely. I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing tears away. I can't believe he is trying to do this right now. "Jace, I'm pregnant. Not tonight" I sniffled, drawing away from him.

 

"I know. I just want this right now." He breathed, circling his thumb over my cheek. He leaned in slowly, hesitating before he reached my lips. "Is this ok?" His fingers touched my neck so carefully a shiver went through my spine. I filled the small space between our mouths, brushing our lips together lazily. His hand slid down, resting on the side of my abdomen. I felt my stomach stir with butterflies, as we kissed sleepily. "What was that?" His mouth broke away from mine, looking down at his hand that was placed on me.

 

"Oh." I murmured, sliding my hand over his. "That's the baby kicking." I informed him with a faint smile.

 

"I didn't know you could actually feel that." He smiled, circling his hand around to be flat on my stomach. I rolled my eyes, taking his hand, and slipped it under my dress to rest on my bare tummy.

 

"It should be right about here." I flicked my eyes up to his face, and his face was completely lite up.

 

"Lay on your back." He asked quietly, shifting around the bed. I squinted my eyes at him questioningly, but I did as he asked. He laid between my legs, pushing my dress up to my beast, which sent a shiver up my spine. He pressed his lips to my stomach, as he started speaking nonsense to the little baby inside me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yay! Happy end to the chapter. I originally wanted them to get into an argument before bed about their son wanting to sleep with them, but I've had enough conflict in my everyday life right now. I really just wanted this to end somewhat happily.
> 
> I think Jace was really cute in this, along with their son John. I see him being just absolutely adorable.
> 
> What did you guys think?
> 
> I planned on this only being a one shot, so the fact I even thought of five chapters is surprising. I have gotten a review on this and another story requesting I update this, but I don't have anymore ideas. I could go on with it, but I feel like it would be very poor quality, which I why I stopped writing it.
> 
> I hoped you enjoyed what I wrote. Have a happy thanksgiving and holiday season.
> 
> Please check out my other stories as well!

**Author's Note:**

> What did you guys think?
> 
> I thought this idea was so interesting I had to write it! I mean it's so weird, yet cool at the same time.
> 
> Please review! Your feedback would be awesome.


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